Confusion

I am confused, this is a novel experience as I normally know what I think all the time.

I am confused because my master has another slave in a trial period. Now he did speak to me about the idea of this, and I told him I would feel jealous. Which I do, immensley. I know nothing about her, but I already don't like her. That is hard for me because my faith tells me that I should not be like that. I am worried that she will be a better slave than me, and my master will not want me anymore. He has promised me that that will not happen, but still, I worry. Now some of you may not agree with what he said to me, but he gave me the choice, if I was really truly unhappy with him potentially having another slave, he would not. This is where I became the most conflicted. I more than anything desire for my master to be happy, and it sounded like having another slave would make him happy. On the other hand, I want to be his only slave, like he is my only master. At the moment both sides are still waring and I have not made up my mind which one wins. I did ask master to promise to a couple of things, to make me more comfortable with this, and he readily agreed. So I should be happy right?

Yesterday I did not get the reward for no cumming because of stupid emails not arriving. But I did get to see a picture of my master, and let me tell you, wow wow wow! I came last night just from looking at it (yes I did have permission). Today I did get master's email with my reward command in it. I have to cum10 times in 12hrs (rolls of the dice) I have managed three so far, and have 7hrs left. I am not sure if I will manage it and of course if I don't I will get a punishment. The reason I am not sure if I will manage it is because of the other slave. When I think about my master with her, it turns me completely off. So I try not to think about her, but my mind does not make it that easy. Like this morning, I came three times before breakfast, and was trying for a fourth when all of a sudden, the thought that master could give her this reward if she is good stopped all thoughts of a fourth orgasm. I really hope that she fails her trial. What makes it worse is that they are in the same time zone, and closer together. Now master promised me that he won't meet her, and I do believe him, I really do, but part of me worries. Then I feel bad because I think that I don't trust him, which I do. Obviously, because he knows so much personal stuff about me, that I haven't told anyone.

I don't even know if I can carry on with my story, because it is kind of based around what I would love to happen when me meet, but now I am worried that he won't want to (because of her) and I don't want to get my hopes up just to have them squashed.

You might wonder why I am writing this when you know my master will read this, well he does know something of how I feel about it, but it is not always easy to tell him exactly how I feel when I am talking to him, this way I can think for a long time about what I feel, and how is the best way to phrase things, and he can see how I feel.

So just to avoid any doubt, I love my master, and I only want to be the very best kind of slave for him. But I am scared he will leave me.

Komodo's Whore
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